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Follow along with me, the hapless curator of an otherwise outdated website (many of the pages here no longer reflect my current views!), on an overly involved journey to determine the best candidate to cast a meaningless vote for in 2012.
Contents |
My political history, 2007-2010
- 2007: I watched all of the debates of the United States Presidential primaries, 2008, aiming for some sort of pragmatism but being especially drawn towards those candidates who criticized the format of the quiz show "debates" and the system that created them. I ended up visiting my local Republican caucus and asking them to delegate me for Ron Paul. If only a few more college students like me had shown up, we would have carried our district.
- 2008: I watched the Obama vs. McCain debates and weighed the benefits of casting a protest vote for one of several third parties. In the end, I didn't want to say I voted against the tide of Hope and Change that had captivated the country, so voted Obama.
- 2009: I volunteered with the state Green Party and was struck by how ineffective, directionless, and useless an organization they were.
- 2010-11: I spent a while reading about left-wing third parties and how prone they were to self-flagellation and cannibalism. Ended up drifting towards political moderate. However, I'm still a registered Green Party voter in my state, so I can't vote in any meaningful primary... oops.
The line-up
The Democrat
Let's talk Obama.
- Obama before election: "Yes we can close Guantanamo!"
Obama after election: "My hands are tied! Sorry guys!" No we can't, I guess.
Also, he blocked inspectors from entering Guantanamo, dropped charges for destruction of torture evidence - Obama before election: "I don't want to have people who just agree with me. I want people who are continually pushing me out of my comfort zone."
Obama after election: fired P.J. Crowley, probably the best spokesperson the State Department has ever had, for disagreeing with him. [1] - Obama before election: "The Patriot Act must be modified." [2]
Obama after election: "The Patriot Act is fine as it is." [3] - Obama has been called "the most aggressive prosecutor of suspected government leakers in U.S. history." [4]
While prosecuting leakers, Obama has expanded on the Bush doctrine that torture is not a crime. [5] - $60 BILLION worth of arms and planes for Saudi Arabia? That's Obama... [6]
- He appointed Monsanto executive Michael Taylor to the FDA [7] and a a former Monsanto lobbyist as Chief Agriculture Negotiator. [8]
The Republicans
I assign each candidate a "slimeball rating" to indicate the amount of gross pandering and soulless flip-flopping they are willing to do to pick up money and votes.
- Tim Pawlenty (confirmed for Brawl!!) http://www.timpawlenty.com/issues
- Pros: Pawlenty is the most rational person and probably the most centrist, which is good. I could see myself voting for this guy. In Minnesota he was a decent person.
- Cons: pro-life and anti-gay
- Slimeball rating: 2/10
- Chances of wrecking the country: 30%
- Newt Gingrich (confirmed for Brawl!!) http://www.newtexplore2012.com/
- Pros: I recall this guy has said some pleasant things in the past.
- Cons: Repeat divorcee, bathes in fundraising money, etc.
- Slimeball rating: 8/10
- Chances of wrecking the country: 40%
- Some Dude (confirmed for Brawl!!) http://www.somedude.com/
This is some random dude who will be included in the debates but won't win. I'm listing him here only for completeness.- Pros:
- Cons:
- Slimeball rating: Who?/10
- Chances of wrecking the country: N/A
- Mitt Romney (confirmed for Brawl!!) http://www.mittromney.com/
- Pros: Seems to be defending his health care legislation pretty well, although the legislation itself was pretty crappy.
- Cons: Ugh this guy is a political animal to the max. It's possible that he has no soul.
- Slimeball rating: 10/10
- Chances of wrecking the country: 10%
- Michelle Bachmann (almost confirmed)
- Pros: BLECCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- Cons: BLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- Slimeball rating: infinity divide by zero forever
- Chances of wrecking the country: 100%
- Ron Paul (confirmed for Brawl!!) http://www.ronpaul2012.com/
- Pros: The guy has integrity, and won't join the chorus of insanity sweeping through the Republican Party.
- Cons: I don't think dismantling the government is actually what we need right now, but oh well.
- Slimeball rating: 0/10 by any reasonable scale
- Jo(h?)n Huntsman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuOb9x_0n-c
- There is another person running for president but
I can't remember his name at this time. He's another Mormon and used to be ambassador to China.
- There is another person running for president but
- Herman Cain (confirmed): A businessman with no political experience; this sort of candidate hasn't been nominated by any major party
for a very long time.- A kind reader wrote in and asked me to revise this statement. I now revise it: no President has ever been elected without political experience, ever. Nominating one, I'm not going to check, but it would obviously be political suicide.
- Another guy: I heard there was another guy running or thinking about running? His name was hard to remember.
- Fred Karger: Ditto.
- Jimmy McMillan: Hmm.
- Sarah Palin: No.
- Santorum: A frothy mix of...
Third party candidates
Nobody of interest is running yet. I am interested in Green, Constitution, and Libertarian candidates this year although I don't fully agree with any of those. I expect 2012 to be a better year for third parties than 2008.
The debates
- May 6: Fox News debate. Note that this was free of the greasy candidates. I'd like to see the full video if anyone has it.
- June 13: A New Hampshire debate, hosted by CNN at Saint Anselm College.
- Full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJAiXcn6FHw
- oh my god michelle bachmann is stupid. every word she says is stupid in new and unique ways. watch it yourself.
- newt is a slimeball who doesn't say anything from his heart
- romney is beyond slimeball, he's an actor. he's playing the role of presidential candidate. and not as naturally as reagan did.
- I am CONGRESSMAN Ron Paul. I delivered 4000 BABIES. Now I defend the CONSTITUTION. FED FED FED FED TAX FED FED FED REAL MONEY FED FED GOLD DOLLARS GOLD
- herman cain is black, and has no political experience.
- pawlenty is probably the most sane, if anyone wants sanity at this late stage of the american empire.
- there was also one, possibly two, other people on the stage.
- August 11: An Iowa debate, hosted by the Iowa Republican Party and FOX News.
- Full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDSs_XFmacc
- so many freaking gotcha questions, can we get Jon Stewart to run a debate?
- they repeatedly invited the candidates to attack each other
- Bachmann walked off the stage and didn't come back in time for the commercial break
- Bachmann is crazy. she's freaking nuts.
- Santorum is a twit, needs to drop out
- Cain is too boring to be president, lacks a grasp on how to make Standard-American-English rhetoric both consistent and thrilling
- during the debate, fox news instapoll asked: "do you support gay marriage?" 45% answered "Yes"; poll mysteriously disappeared halfway through Romney's answer. also 70% support paul, only 30% support romney
- September 14: Politico/NBC debate.
External links
Check these out, they are the best sources out there.